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I have fought a thousand fight, cried a thousand tears, being betrayed a million times. Talked about, trampled upon, being used. Abused. Mistreated, pushed around and left lonely.

I dont know where to go at times, who to turn to a thousand times i felt in deep depression, feeling a passion to take my own life, a passion to commit suicide. At times there is no self motivation, no self worth, no self importance. Nothing to inspire self. The headache i felt, the pressure i go under, the backstabbing, heartache constant throbbing of the nagging pressure that arise from day to day. No one around to give a helping hand, no shoulder to lay on. No one to help carry the cross, burden to heavy to carry for just one little girl. Am weak at times cant seems to go on. Prayers seems not to cut it at times. At times i hate myself, i wish at times i would just die. Contemplated that a lot.

I cry so many tears the world wouldn’t even know, only God alone know how my heart is right now. Am broken up inside, in spite of a few people around to talk to i feel a loneliness inside no one can fix. I feel unloved, uncared for, feel like no one think about me. Am feeling down and lonely. I hate life, i hate myself, i hate people. Kmft. Feel like just tearing myself apart. Rip the lungs out, squeeze the heart until it pop. Am in a emotional wreck right now. I just dont care what happen to me. Tired of the back stabbing, the malice, the hate, the heartbreak and pain.

By: Tamica James 14/4/18


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